i should brace myself later

I dreamed my father twice this week.

I don’t really seem to care to write this down, as my purpose earlier—remembering this stuff til the time I have no time to even think of him. Reading these words til the time I’ve forgotten everything all about my melancholy.

It was disaster. We were swimming in the ocean, with no sand. More like a deep swimming pool. There was water everywhere, as far as my eyes could see, there was nothing but water.  Then I remember the gigantic wave came and that was it—tsunami. He seemed okay, he was healthy. He protected me and the rest of us like every father would, he was always reliable.

Then I woke up, and I was reluctant to write this. It’s been awhile, I think. I chosed to ignore this.

We were in McD. Goddamn it.

I could see my aunt and her husband, and her children too. One another family that I care the most after my own.

I remembered I wanted everything, but we didn’t get any time. My mother told me to rush, of course because of him. My father didn’t like to wait.

 And McD selling corn and stuff—absurdity in a dream would never be absent in mine.

He had this disease. I was worried about him, why don’t you stay in bed? But he was okay, he walked, he talked, he stood, he crossed his arms. ‘He’s okay’, I was watching him closely.

It lasts quite long, I guess. I should pardon myself later that i keep skipping lots of events until the last thing happened before I woke up, it was—I wanted McD’s choco top ice cream, but I didn’t get any.

Then I woke up from my nap, and took a shower. I decided to write these down tonight